出处：PConline

 
　　Hi, this is George. I‘m sorry I can‘t answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

　　If you are a burglar, then we‘re probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can‘t come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren‘t home and it‘s safe to leave us a message.

　　You‘re growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.

　　Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

　　Hello, you‘ve reached Jim and Sonya. We can‘t pick up the phone right now, because we‘re doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right ... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we‘re done brushing our teeth, we‘ll get back to you.

　　注释：

　　beep：主人的Answer讲完以后，Answer Machine会发出一声beep, 这时候来电话者就可以开始留言了。

　　magnet：磁铁

　　*注：通常情况下，来电话者面对录音讲话都不太自然，所以语言往往很急促，三句两句话就完了。这可苦坏了接听留言的主人，听多少遍都听不清留言者到底是谁，讲了些什么。对于母语非英文的人，这种感觉会更深。所以，以下这两段幽默干脆就首先告诉电话拨入者，我的Answer Machine不好使，你且慢慢来。

　　elope：私奔

　　tub：浴盆

　　charity ：慈善团体